we woke up early to join the uso tour to the dmz and to get a look at north korea. the dmz is the no man’s land that separates south and north. north korea of course is a real land of mystery since travel and touring to the country is near non-existence so we only have rumors of a maniacal dynasty, starving people eating tree bark and an impending invading military digging tunnels to unsuspecting south korea. what really goes on over there?

the tour has a dress code and is careful to let you know to present yourself in a way that is acceptable or else you will not be allowed to go! they give you guidelines but its completely at their discretion. you are also not allowed to communicate, signal or gesture with north koreans. they specifically tell you not to sneak in the finger! you have armed military folks around you so you don’t mess with that.

so i made myself up north korean style! theresa said i looked nerdy and could not look at me if i kept this hair. i even kept stoic as i walked around. behind me is propaganda village with their gigantic flag pole in north korea. but i’m getting ahead.

after an orientation about the border, the zone and the competing flagpoles on both sides, we signed the waiver and we were on our way.

danger is real. gun shots, nukes, tanks, invasion….all possible. thus the waiver. but on the other hand, nothing has happened in a real long time.

this is the bridge of no return that is one of the connection points between north and south. it was used at the end of the war when prisoners of war had to decide which side they wanted to live in….but the understanding was that once they made their decision, there would be no return. korean nationals are not allowed to go on these tours because there is a fear that they would run across and defect.

this is the lame photo line that you had to stand behind to take pictures. it is clearly at least 10 feet away from the edge of the viewing platform making it really difficult to get good shots. its feels like a joke….but real. there are soldiers happy to take away your camera if you get up to the wall and snap a shot. of course, they are so busy looking that i turned them into the subject of this farce. i zoomed my camera to its max, held it up above where i projected the wall to be and took these:

not great but not bad either. our tour guide joked…..you want to know where north korea is? its where there are no trees! also i got a few shots again of propaganda city which is a shell of a modern town that north korea has built. no one lives there but people are bused in…children too….to give the illusion that people live there. sometimes they also boom propaganda broadcasts inviting south koreans to come over and live! as well as messages bad mouthing the south’s government. the famous flagpole has a flag so big that it cannot fly unless a really strong wind comes. when it snows or rains, it must be brought down or it will tear under its own weight. its all part of (i suspect male)ego in an extension of the junior high game of who’s is bigger?

we continued our war themed day by going to the korean war museum that summarizes the conflicts koreans have endured. this (emotionally)moving gargantuan statue is out front. it is called two brothers…presumably after the war…any war…reunited.

the museum has a feel that koreans are done with war. come look at this antiquated device our barbaric past used to advance society. it feels like a museum displaying the first cars…..look what at how we used to live.

there is a sense of optimism that they are done. they’ve made it. they celebrate their triumps, mourn their losses, retell their histories…..

but also give ominous warnings of life during war….and the results of war. it contrasts current life in korea which for the most part is shiny and happy.

so look hard at what you have and what you could have. the threat is always there. in reality, if the 2 koreas go to war, both would nuke each other out of existence. hopefully, cooler heads will prevail.

touring south(ern)south korea, the long, long flight home, jet lag and getting back to work has backed me up from blogging. to avoid writing about korea until august, i’ll lump half a week together. i still want to talk about our detour to the farmland where theresa’s dad grew up, our adventures at the dmz and loose loki ends…but first a quick tour of the sights from the majestic palaces to the absurd indoor theme park: lotteworld!

i started our touring by getting in trouble taking a picture of hyundai world headquarters and their proud display of their high marks in consumer report. if i ever make it back to the suburbs, i might consider getting one. or maybe i’ll stick with my volvo plans.

in korean corporate culture, there’s a lot of spying and stealing of ideas so a guard came and asked me what i was taking pictures of. theresa’s aunt explained i was a(dumb)american taking touristy shots. he was reluctant to let me go.

changdeok-gung is the best preserved of the korean palaces. the compound was used to house the royal family and do government business. this was also the home for the last crown prince of korea and for the last royal family member until her death in 1989.

this was a nice relaxing tour and stroll…especially through the gardens where we got to see some cherry blossoms. we learned a little about korean culture and promptly forgot most of it. that’s the way these things go.

we took a cable car up to seoul tower that gives panaromic views of the city. it looks out in all directions and gives approximate distances to actual cities around the world including home(s) and our possible next year’s big international destination. hola rob and julie. i think i masked that well.

it was cloudy and hazy so the views were only mediocre.

we toured around in the city bus to get a layout of seoul before deciding on spending the afternoon at the national museum. museums are super cheap and super huge. with very little space in homes in the city, this is a great place to spend the day. we got pda-s and walked around for hours until our heads were full of korean history.

but again, i’ve promptly forgotten most of it making room for battlestar facts and baseball trivia.

inside one of the ginormous malls in seoul has a full fledged aquarium…again, the concept of not that much private space..so people gather at the museums or at these one stop entertainment centers. f you would rather shop then learn, you head to the mall. and if you want to learn a little, you go to the aquarium at the mall.

theresa’s nieces were so cute running around the place. but after they did the touching exhibits, they stank of fish.

another mass gathering place is lotte world….an indoor amusement park. i tried to show the layout of the land from one of these mechanical ‘hot air’ balloon rides. pretty standard fare with a few thrill rides for adults and a lot of disney “borrowing” like the castle at the center of the park. there’s an outdoor area as well. a pretty good park for kids and people with spawn. i wouldn’t go there on my own or for myself. i would save my money for the theme park we did not make it to: everland….its supposed to be worldclass with crazy rides! maybe next time in a few years from now. i hear theresa has already made plans with vision pam without me or wayne’s opinions.

clearly, going to touristy spots is not the sum of a country or a city. these places were interesting sidebars…but many people get fed these as the main story. for me, the main stories, the good stuff, the life of the country/city are the places where real people go to live, eat, dream, worship and gather….not where the tourists are. i still like the everyday place, the mundane and the not so popular. but like my irish boy says, some of the (nonsense)is still pretty cool.

these are theresa’s famous nieces…as featured on korean national television for being triplets: kelly, kate and kris. they often dress alike and get double takes as triplets are rare anywhere. however, most outsiders also seemed to give disappointed looks because clearly kelly looks uniquely different than her other two sisters who look identical…so they think its twins with someone else dressed all alike.

at first, they were bashful, shy and unresponsive. they ignored me and theresa while clinging to their parents. their grandfather tried to get them to be more friendly. but nothing made them interact with us. pretty soon, theresa got them to talk to her with the language connection and some korean card games. but i had no point of entry with them. i was on the outside……

but then, out of nowhere, they warmed up really, really quickly and pretty soon, they couldn’t keep their hands off me!

at the mall, they were fighting for hands, fingers and laps to sit on! their mom had to help them figure out the math to divide up my limbs.

but this entry is not really about girl, girl, girl. its about the people that made korea worth visiting. i was afraid that korea would be empty with sights and places. i usually enjoy being with people on vacation; visiting friends…but i don’t know anyone in korea. and i don’t speak the language. but theresa’s family bridged all sorts of gaps to welcome me.

i love spending time with theresa’s family. they are so hospitable and generous. when you marry, you do get the family as part of the package so be wary of the relatives! they can make your life very very good….or very very painful. theresa’s cousins, aunt and uncle made touristy spots, local haunts and home sweet home all rich times. the little girls made the visit to the mall and theme park, magical.

and of course, it’s nice to know that i still have it. i’m joking of course. but then again, next time you see michael douglas and katherine zeta jones, think of these pictures!

somewhere kyuboem lee, grace choi and regina lee ahn are smiling. back in college, i would give the koreans on campus a hard time about their culture including their food. hard is understatement. i was scathing….terrible…merciless. i told theresa that if she heard me talk in college, she would never have married me. so when my korean classmates heard that i was marrying korean, they must have seen that as god’s galactic justice. going to korea for a few weeks? even better.

what will he eat? will he eat? will this be a 24/7/12(day)super-size me experiment? or super-shrink me?

i did not eat a single burger and only ate at one american place for the heck of eating some fast food korean style. for 99% of the time i ate korean food. most days we ate like this. at home. simple little dishes with rice…pickled this and that. small plates of meat. and i ate what was served to me. there was always something that i could eat and only a few things that i declined on.

we had jiajen mein once but only once…which most of my korean buddies would see as a cheat since its really a chinese dish even though i had the korean version. this was really good with hand made noodles.

at the korean folk village, i had this noodle in broth, kalgooksoo, with some korean bbq pork. it was a chilly morning so this was a good warm up. i slurped up these noodles as theresa nervously watched. all of theresa’s family was nervous as they had heard that i did not enjoy korean cuisine. theresa’s mom had called theresa’s aunt to brainstorm about foods i could eat and that she could cook. but i was doing fine.

we had a little bit of street food….as theresa has already noted, we were full almost all the time and didn’t have a lot of room for street food but here theresa’s aunt insisted on some sweet red bean cakes. she shared some with curious westerners unwilling to shell out the 1,000 won(1 dollar)on the bags. or maybe they were nervous about the whole buying food in the streets without authorized government health inspected blah blah blah.

i really enjoyed this: its a whole chicken stuffed with herbs, seaoning and rice in a light broth. it was also the first of many restaurants we went to where we sat on the floor. shoes were left outside, sandals and slippers were used for indoors and cushions for our booties were standard.

here’s my one american fast food indulgence. we had kfc in beijing so we designated this our official western food joint for asia. a little disappointing since the original recipe was not that herbs or spicey. the menu selections were rigid and i had to get cole slaw with this meal. and of course, it was overpriced. it was fun but don’t think i would do kfc in korea again. especially not with the other fried chicken options widely available.

bring on the bbq! after almost a week in korea, i wondered how many of these places i would get to see. theresa mentioned south koreans didn’t eat that much meat and going out for bbq were for special occasions. i’m guessing my arrival was special because we did go out for bbq….first, pork ribs!

…then the next night was beef…which is much more expensive and even more of a luxury! here’s some yummy marble-ly rib eye, my favorite cut. theresa’s family was really hospitable, generous and celebratory for our arrival.

with the help of theresa’s cousins, we found some bonchon chicken. this is the made to order stuff that is double fried for maximum crispness and minimum greasiness??? we were warned that it takes up to 25 minutes per order which is about an hour less than what it took in nyc our first experience with this magical chicken. but you know what else was less? the price! that’s what happens when you have original korean food in korea. the wings were amazing!

really, really good! we tried to find another one of these on our trip but it turns out this would be the only time. on the way to the airport for departure, i did see a kyochon chicken truck on the highway out for deliveries as if to taunt me.

at lotte world, an indoor amusement park, we had “typical” theme park food…korean versions. i had the pork cutlet with omelet wrapped rice. theresa’s nieces opted for the more american spaghetti. after the rides, we had some(i am not joking)booty jigae which is ramen, spam, sausage slices in broth. look how my sweet t loves the booty(jigae). i also love the booty(jigae). i cannot lie.

at the dmz…that’s right, the demilitarized zone between north and south korea, it was back to more familiar fare with bibimbop and bulgolgi suited for american tastes as the tour was run by the uso and the majority of attendees were westerners. i had a great time and unlike with kfc korea, i would go back to the dmz for more eats. maybe it was the thrill of possible nuclear annihilation or the potential threat of invasion that made the food taste so good.

we found another korean fried chicken place that we hear is really popular these days. it was different than the bonchon/kyochon stuff. again, the two kinds of familar flavors: garlic and the nebulous spicy. different but very, very good. strangely i found that the “spicy” in korea was much less spicy than the insane nuclear flavoring in the states. i prefer the spicy in korea….which might make me more authetic korean than my american korean counterparts.

another piece of korean food evidence…..the pangchon, korean pancake….is made with less seafood in korea(probbably due to expenses). i always choked on the tentacle saturated version i was served in the states and i always commented that the pancake would taste better without the overflowing seafood to which my korean american friends would scoff: who makes it like that? real koreans do! you ignorant korean wannabees! its your nightmare come true….I maybe more korean than you!

i won’t bore(or salivate)you that much longer. we made a detour to south south korea to visit theresa’s uncle on his farm and we had my first soondaboo of the trip, which is falsely rumored as the only thing i’ll eat. clearly i’ve been eating a lot of things and a lot of different things. though my favorite was clearly still bbq!

folks, i ate a lot. i think i gained weight.

somewhere kyuboem lee, grace choi and regina lee ahn are smiling.

a low key day at the korean folk village. first….some definitions. the korean folk village is the korean equivalent of colonial williamsburg where the roots, history and cultural beginnings of the people can be learned. this village is served as the filming site of several popular korean historical dramas(compare and contrast above). second, low key in the tsang family can mean two things. one is a low energy, less demanding, leisurely pace; or two, low key sounds like loki(the norse god of mischief)and that means trouble or smirky fun. it means both here. you’ll see in a bit.

first theresa is in front of the exhibit that showed you the different kinds of roofs people used to install based on economic status.

there are many to choose from including bark(poor people), baked tiles(rich people), straw(commoners)and then my favorite,(the big pic at the bottom)random slate tile pieces(rich but cheap). its a roof made of pricey slate stone but the owner skimped on having someone skilled to install it and did it himself poorly so it looks like crap. these guys must have been the connection point between theresa’s ancestors and my cheap donkey people. dude! you paid for the good stuff….just front the extra cash to finish the job right!

theresa has already done a fine job detailing the cultural shows that took up most of the day so i won’t rehash the korean dance, acrobatics, traditional wedding and equestrian/horsie shows. go to her site to read and see that stuff. you’ll notice her day 3 is my day 2. she is using the the traditional lunar/korean calendar which includes the plane ride in the trip. i am counting days we are actually out of the womb.

we had a chance to cross over a narrow traditional bridge. we saw a ton of grade schoolers run across and immediately noted that this attraction would never fly in the states with the 8 foot drop into rocky waters, lack of guard rails and lawsuit culture…not to mention that brats in the states would push each other off to their deaths. there are not pictures of me on the bridge because a quarter of the way, i was in a place called vertigo. i had to turn back.

ready for that loki fun that i was referring to?

this was relatively tame during an exhibit on marriage and mating rituals…….but then came this…..

there was a description of the wedding night followed by a picture of “excited” neighbors poking holes in the paper walls to have peep. this was not the end……..

there was a recreation of said wall with holes poked where peeping toms had made their mark…..and clearly, through the holes you can see something is going on. why don’t we take a look? (relatively worksafe)…..when you look in (or stick your camera in the holes)….you get flashes of this!

i don’t remember williamsburg being like this! mercifully, the groom blows out the candle lighting the room before us neighbors can see more but not before he gives the camera a norse god of mischief smirk. i really appreciate the openness of the korea exhibits! instead of the usual politically correct, overly modest nonsense, the folk village told it like it is! or was.

that’s enough excitement for today! there were lots more loki parts to the exhibit but i’ll save them for another post.

our vacations are not as thrilling as others may imagine. its not all covert ops to the dmz and missle negotiations with the north. we tend to do a lot of everyday stuff. we don’t get to spend a lot of time together so we enjoy doing mudane stuff.

this trip already has the feel of a trip to los angeles. which means of course, getting haircuts and coloring……those koreans are so stylish and clever with hair products. its been over a year since theresa got her hair cut and done….after a certain point, she wanted to wait until we got to korea.

then it was off to the procuring of nourishment for the week……..

the korean supermarkets are very westernized! they have some familiar products like frosted flakes and fruit loops with the familiar characters…..and a few of their own characters selling i dunno what. like the einstein brain juice? and like the cute/scary(killer bunny from monty python)selling beef broth bullions?

my favorite thing to do in international markets is finding the western brands selling unusual flavors tailored to asian sensibilities like everybody’s favorite……feta cheese pringles?

then there are the aisles that remind you that you are no longer in the west! or maybe you’re in koreatown in la or fort lee, nj?

the rest of the day was spent with family….mostly theresa’s aunt who is super hip, fit and young. she is the lead sister of 8 girls and boy(7 girls and 1 boy). she is over 65 but lives like she’s 50(or younger)….she drove us around and showed us the bus routes and places to eat.

she reminds me of my mom’s mom who used to joke around and play nintendo while smoking a cigarette. no tobacco here but she’s already been pretty open and off color with us…..encouraging us to make a baby while in korea. another time, one of her granddaughters was whiny and huddled against her dad’s chest; she chastised the kid for looking like she wanted get breastfed by her father.

so i got pretty comfortable with her right away. at the noodle shop, she asked me if i wanted some yaki mandoo. i giggled and mumbled something to theresa. the aunt wanted in on the joke. t explained that in english, it sounds like she was offering me yucky man doo(doo). she laughed….composed herself…and then called me a bad man.

and away we go!

part of the fun of international traveling are the distractions provided to mask the full day flights including……

……..the food! theresa has already done a fine job of detailing some of the goodies we got. i like the fact that we had a choice of entrees(a-pork vs b-fish) as shown in the menu above. i also appreciate the disclaimer at the very bottom…which if you squint through the fuzziness tells you that the photos and the actual food served may differ. those asian(airline)cultures are so truthful!

…..and of course the(free)drinks. what i learned on this trip is don’t get drunk on the plane. just kidding. i’ve only been drunk once. and that was a long time ago, when i was 9 years old. don’t worry, i was drinking with my dad.

let me explain.

near midnite on december 31, 1989, my dad allowed me to make any drink i wanted to for the new year. i made the biggest, strongest(and likely nastiest)brew a 9 year old could. in a matter of minutes, i was knocked out cold and missed the arrival of 1990. this is called aversion therapy.                                                           (oops…i meant 1979/1980….but some people do think i’m 28)

though my parents can drink heavily, i’ve only had a mild interest and drink only periodically. my dad was so clever. so on the plane, we just had a taste of this and that but mostly had good old h2o.

but no amount of distractions could make up for a 5 hour delay for our connection flight in japan…..boo! we did find some juice for our electronics and tried to keep occupied with nintendo and battlestar on my laptop. we finally boarded and arrived into seoul close to midnite. we left on a monday and because of the time difference, arrived close to wednesday. our actual adventures in korea would have to wait until tomorrow.

North Korea: South Korea driving relationship to ‘catastrophe’SEOUL, South Korea (CNN) –

North Korea cut off dialogue with South Korea on Thursday, claiming the peninsula was on the brink of another war.

North Korea also accused South Korea of driving their relationship to “confrontation and catastrophe.” The country said it was stopping dialogue after South Korea failed to apologize for remarks one of its generals made this week.

The general said South Korea would attack suspected nuclear weapons sites in North Korea if the North tried to attack the South with atomic bombs.

On March 27, North Korea expelled 11 South Korean officials from a joint industrial park in Kaesong, North Korea. That move came after South Korea’s unification minister said it would be hard to expand the park without North Korean progress on de-nuclearization. The next day, North Korea fired a barrage of short-range missiles of its western coast.

Then state-run television in North Korea warned that it would turn parts of South Korean into “ashes” in the event of a pre-emptive South Korean strike on its nuclear sites.

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Who would go to south korea at a time like this????

Doh!

i’ll start blogging about our trip soon. theresa already has a head start.

here we are…back again….its like we never left. back in montgomery county, mary-land. back with my boys, the sun brothers, mike and eric. mike is the most athletic non-athletic looking dude on the court from u of i champ/urbana. eric is a md phd economic medical genius from princeton/u of c. they are my fellow illinois school attending, comic loving, convention attending, joke making, hole in the wall food eating, trouble finding, traveling companions these past 15 years. i was their youth pastor before we became really good friends with assorted adventures up and down the east coast and in the midwest.

and what bwings us together today is mawwaige. that’s the bride, pinarsky(marrying eric, not mike….but mike is part of the package(but not that way))

and here i am….marrying them! in wonky montgomery county, almost anyone can do weddings….as long as you are a representative of your religion…whatever that means….this is a liberal state(when bush destroyed dukakis in 1988, dukakis carried maryland!)  what’s really important in marriage in this state is the paperwork. i sign….you’re married! and, of course….i also have to mail in the paperwork. pretty unromantic. but that’s what it takes.

if you’re looking for a more romantic recap, here you go:

i love doing weddings. its like how the movie love actually depicts airports: so much joy in reunions, new starts, anticipation, welcoming and family. i haven’t done too many weddings where there was extreme family drama…mostly only the good stuff.

and i love the good stuff: i love the fact that all the couple has to do is get down the aisle and i’ll be able to take care of the rest….they can relax and enjoy the moment of god joining them together. i love giving couples this gift of life. i love being with people on the most important days of their lives.

i love doing weddings with moco people….its a reunion of days past…of days long ago and yet not so long ago. a chance to go back in time and get another chapter in the story.

this is church, folks. its not what building you go to or how many people attend or the kind of programs offered or what you accomplish….its the people you live, travel, laugh, celebrate and mourn with. you attend each other’s weddings and funerals; you raise each other’s kids; you are in each other’s homes and lives; you get to carry each other….and all the while, allowing god’s grace to shine to bless each other.

thank you, moco. viva!

                                      
usually we vacation right after easter….a natural end to a run of work and ministry….but this year, we had to delay our vacation to the other motherland because of a wedding and girls football tourney. vision wound up sweeping both leagues as i was officiating. in between easter and wedding/football, i had a few extra days and a free plane ticket soon to expire. it was a no brainer as i headed to dallas to see my niece, jacqueline.

same same same: she’s still bald and super cute; still super squirmy so my parents have a hard time holding her. new new new: she’s got some teeth now and likes adult food. jaq learned how to play hide and seek. and she cries a bit more but generally a super easy baby. yeah, i know…blah, blah, blah. its just another baby to you. but she’s still pretty magic to me.

speaking of magic, for dinner we went to rudy’s….home of good, inexpensive(compared to nyc prices)bbq. it was my parents first taste of real bbq….not like the fake stuff they’ve been getting in nyc. mmmm…moist brisket. the ribs, turkey and sausage were also winners. my mom declared that we were coming back again! she was scraping the bottom of the styrofoam for more of the cream corn that my boy gideon calls “lifechanging”. we did go back for lunch.

more magic! i found my college buddy roger ferris! it was the first time i had seen him since his graduation in 1992! so long ago and yet not so long ago….but the math says 16 years. the internet(specifically facebook)is good for something! i was pleased to see that he still had hair and hadn’t gained 600 pounds like some of my wheaton classmates. asians have the super youth gene that make their cauc-asian counterparts look a bit(lot)older. when i saw some of my classmates at my reunion i was like….you went to college with me? you look like you taught me in college!

roger and i were in the same small group in college…he’s a dear, dear friend that i’m glad to have reconnected with.

another tsang family favorite is babe’s chicken….good old fashioned southern cooking. look at that spread! fried chicken, catfish, tenders, chicken fried steak, corn, mashed potatos, real buttermilk biscuits….if i lived in texas, between this place and rudy’s, i may well also gain 600lbs!

another great but too short trip to the lone star state! i’ll close with jaq going crazy almost on cue to my ipod playing pixar’s jack jack attack. how does she do that?