Hosive

i usually don’t share that much about ministry which leads people to wonder if i do any ministry at all as a pastor. it seems like i am doing anything but ministry with all the concerts, shows, restaurants, trips i attend and the interests i pursue. the reality is that i do a lot of ministry…i work as much(or more)as i play. i spend the main part of my life working. and that’s the point….i am blessed to live a rich, rich life.

i minister…..but i have a life apart from ministry which i actively pursue. i’ve grown up in the church i’ve seen the dudes who do nothing but think, eat, drink, sleep and throw up ministry. that’s all they blog about because they’ve got nothing else to blog about. that’s all they can bring out from their souls. i don’t want to be near anything like that because i’ve seen those dudes flame out and wind up selling insurance, electrical wires, heart attacks, something, anything…you name it.

my friend dj chuang says that i am one of the more healthy ministers he has encountered with a good chance of doing this work long term. this is high praise from someone who spends a lot of time hanging and tracking with ministers. i don’t know if i believe my own press(i was trained not to)but i know that there are other things in me i want to pursue in addition to ministry. maybe too many things. and i’ve got a lot of other things i want to talk to people about besides churchy church.

but once in awhile, there is something joyous i would like to share about my church life:

a bunch of couples went to the weekend to remember conference to recharge our marriages. it was a great time to dine, hang out, laugh and be encouraged with other couples. i love the people in my church and i love being with them.

i love wendy and ernie who are so different and yet are on the same page. i love mike who takes over so i can relax and rest my brain. i love the quiet grace that oli ghaw-lee exudes. i love the divergent reactions peggy and leo have when we laugh about sex. i love joking around too much with chris and wayne. i love the generous hearts of their wives, rebecca and pam. i love calvin’s deep spirituality. i love carol’s deep madness(which she hides until she feels more steady). i love them like a parent who’s crazy about their kid when everyone else just sees another baby.

these were vibrant times together.

as for the teaching times, topics included resolving conflict, communication skills, sex, fatherhood and challenges to marriage.

I didn’t learn a lot of new things as the conference as the program was designed to cast a wide net to catch everyone including new marrieds and total space cadet couples. for example, during the sharing time some shared that they learned that “they were supposed to work together” and “i have to love my wife”. being in and around ministry and marriages for 18 years, i could have taught the class or at least parts of it. and i do teach this stuff….in my pre-marital sessions with couples.

but what was helpful were the exercises that got me and theresa to talk. we had a great time interacting and laughing. at some points, we laughed too loud as the couples near us weren’t always having a good time. one husband spent the project time lecturing his wife. another couple looked like they had just survived a bombing. we laughed softer when we became aware of them.

we were even given a date night where we were to go to a restaurant, wine and dine and then let the night run its magical course. we spent our time at a suburban mega-grocery-mart going through the aisles getting stuff we could not get in the city for prices we could never find in the city. there were 4 other shoppers in the whole place, giving us free reign of the store. doesn’t sound romantic but we spent an hour and a half just talking and enjoying each other. time that we don’t have a lot of because….we are both out a lot doing ministry! there’s my alibi right there for all those haters! church work does dominate a lot of our lives so it was great to have that extended time together….even if it was at a supermarket….besides,that’s exactly what theresa wanted to do! her eyes lit up as we drove past the strip malls.

and the rest of the night?