duh!journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some low brow…some high minded…all duh!

after the party…comes reality…and what seems to be a shock to people…and it made news!:

Gitmo closing may take time, Holder says

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Attorney General-designate Eric Holder said Thursday that the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, will be closed after President-elect Obama takes office, but not as soon as the administration would like.

Attorney General-designate Eric Holder said at his confirmation hearing that “waterboarding is torture.”

Holder made the comments as he appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee for his confirmation hearing.

The physical act of closing the Guantanamo Bay facility isn’t a problem, noted Holder. The more pressing question, he said, is the fate of the roughly 250 inmates currently being held there.

Some of the inmates, Holder said, can be sent to other countries, while others can be prosecuted.

A third group of inmates, Holder indicated, can’t be tried “for a variety of reasons” but also can’t be released because they are too dangerous.

For that reason, the Obama administration won’t be able to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility “as soon as we’d like.”

Holder pledged to only support interrogation techniques that are “consistent with who we are as Americans” and don’t “serve as recruiting tools for the enemy.” He promised that, if confirmed, the Justice Department would approve of techniques that don’t violate “current treaty obligations… but (are) effective.”

He cited the claims of military officials who have said that certain so-called “enhanced (interrogation) techniques” don’t always produce reliable intelligence.

He also stated that “waterboarding is torture” and a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

Justice Department officials have said in the past that the technique was used but is no longer in use.

************

what next? the troops cannot pull out of iraq by tomm? the economy will take years to fix? my problems won’t be fixed in 30 minutes or less or my money back?

but obama is president now! the chosen one! why are my grandparents still dead? i want what i want and i want it now!

this is only news for people with totally unrealistic expectations…and that seems like every other person right now(except those who expect obama to be the antichrist…and those who rely on duh!journal for their reality).

but our favorite kind of news at duh!journal is news that ain’t really news at all.

last month i called my friend leo, leonardo and leopold, for christmas, noel and leotard.

this month, i’ve called him leopatra and leoben(for bsg).

so i asked our friend leo chen one day, if his name is short for anything or is it just leo? he said….just leo. it got me thinking where that name came from. then we just started making up origins of the name. and started calling him permutations of leo.

so for the next year, i’ll present one a week until we’ve exhausted the possibilities. i currently do not have 52 versions but only enough to get started. you can help if you’d like.

this week…..i will call my friend leo, leometro….in honor of a car many would like to have in the economic crisis.

thanks so much for your suggestions so far! we had some of them on the list already but others we did not and they have been added! let me know if i don’t give you your props!

Posted under leo-graphy

when people come into the city, we are always surprised by where they want to visit or to go eat. they are equally surprised that we do not frequent those places or want to go eat there. no. i do not want to eat at ruby tuesdays , bennigans or tgifridays in times square. then they ask where we go……so here are the places we like…not the best or the cheapest or whatever category….just where we go and go on a regular basis…

once in awhile, i take my mom out for lunch in the big city. even though, they’ve lived in the city for close to 40 years, my parents know only chinatown and the parts of queens where chinese hang. so i like to expose them to things they would never go to. so i took her to momofuku to get japanese noodles.

we start with the sweet breads for an appetizer. i think we also got pork buns but i don’t have a shot of that. then we both get a big ol bowl of noodles. to do this place right, you have to get about $30 worth of food each and we come close. this is not a cheap meal but it is a flavorful adventure. theresa thinks its overated….since it is asian food and cheaper options are plentiful in the city. but i like a bit of luxury every now and then….and its worth it when its mom. its nice to live in a city where i can go ghetto and top shelf.

since she grew up with a hatred of everything japanese because of nanjing and other atrocities, she never has tasted much japanese. so to see her enjoy new things is a lot of fun. we sat at the bar in front of the kitchen and watched them prepare our food.

i do let her see the bill at her request and she balks, saying we should not go to places like this. but i tell her its only once in awhile…and she agrees. especially since i’m paying.

i send her home with pork buns for dad.

i already have a column about comic books but i also wanted one exclusively on collecting(mostly toys). so i thought of the collector…the supervillian identity of the comic book guy on the simpsons….this is a nerdy homage to him, collecting and indirectly to matt groening.

i read somewhere that its part of human nature to collect. so a question to ask, that is strangely revealing, is what is it that we collect?……handbags, music, stamps, coins, shoes, clothes, memories, gadgets, junk, plastic bags to reuse, rocks…

we know that president elect obama collects comics. he was featured in a special issue of spiderman this past week…….

but, look at what the younger obama daughter collects…….in the bottom left of the photo above.

the same dolls my sweet t collects!

uglydoll.com is reporting that sasha obama has a mini version of babo’s bird. theresa owns the mondo version of the same ugly doll….her birthday present last year.

daddy obama has his blackberry….sasha has her babo’s bird! more ugliness to come!

happy inaugaration weekend!

at the movies is obviously movie reviews with homage to the original mass market movie reviewers siskel and ebert. thumbs up, thumbs down became a powerful marketing device but what made the two successful was insightful criticism that betrayed a love and understanding of the nuance of film. this is what i fed on as a youth and beyond.

my attempts will be more modest…pointing out some basic plot and themes WITHOUT giving away anything…i hate when reviewers do that so casually especially when they are only writing to showcase their cleverness.

i conclude the review using my personal measures of whether a movie is good: watch again? own? rental or theatre? and the more nebulous ‘magical’ rating. that’s how i communicate whether i really love a movie. i may also include whether my wife, theresa liked it. we have different tastes in movies and you can figure out who you’re more like. ps:watch the trailer at your own discretion…these advertising guys don’t care about blowing the plot for you.

this is the epilogue to the 80′s hulk hogan era of wrestlemania during which professional wrestling became mainstream. it is also a meditation on glory days and the slow descent into old age. there are parallel stories with an aging wrestler and his aging stripper lady friend…both on the decline and tragically both in trades where they are viewed and used as meat. this is a side of life not portrayed in movies…when the sight on the horizon is sunset. and thus the difference between stereotype hollywood and indie movies…in the former, the wrestler and the stripper find true love, the wrestler’s daughter reconciles and forgives her deadbeat dad and sees his heart of gold, and the wrestler goes out on top. but in the indie movie before us, all of that is in doubt. just like in real life.

mikey rourke is phenomenal playing rough, tough, tender, broken, clueless, hopeless, joyful, angry, living and dying. fully believable as a human being and as a slab of flesh. one of my most absolute favorite scenes involves randy the ram trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter.

i may watch this again but will unlikely buy this. its more like a rental but some of the scenes are more powerful on the big screen. theresa would have hated this. too depressing and violent for her tastes.

i read an interesting review that drew a different analogy between wrestling and movie making…its scripted, acted and fake but the audience comes anyway looking for story, action and characters.

reintroducing my niece jaqueline with a special announcement:

my uncle joseph and aunt theresa are going to have a……….girl!!!!

i’m going to have a cousin to play with in june!

in the book series, not so big house, the key to getting the most out of a small space are niches. even in big homes, what makes a home “homey” are the small little places that feel cozy and safe. where memories are made. so good architects, builders and home makers build little spots into a house or apt to make the space memorable and alive. i’ve been blessed to live in a few places with little nooks and spots that radiate with life.

we bought one of the not so big house books because we were moving from a 2400 sq/ft md house into a 1100 sq/ft nyc apartment. but it turns out the not so big homes in the not so big house books were not so not-so-big. they were huge places! we have different definitions of not so big house!

in these features, i’ll detail mundane little spots around our apartment…..the spots where we live…and life is made.

in order to get into our home, everyone comes through this door. but unlike other front doors, (almost)everyone is stunned the first time they come in.

its because the elevator opens right into our apartment. i joke that this is a typical new york city apartment but really its closer to the fantasy of the movies. think back to how many of your stars’ elevators go right into their homes when their characters live in nyc. it happens all the time! and yet how many have you seen? here’s your chance!

its a great little distinct feature of our place(one of many! which is why we love our home)…but its also practical..since the apartments in the home are long and railroad style, and each apartment takes up its own floor, it makes little sense to waste space with a separate hallway just to get to your apartment.

most people ask how it works….when you open our front door, the elevator door is there. it does not open unless the elevator is called to the floor. when people are buzzed in, we summon the lift to us, hopefully with them in it.  when we leave, we lock the front door behind us.

the elevator has vents which means in the winter, it is a source of cold air…and the heat escapes unless we keep the door closed. we also have a wind guard and this brown turdy door stopper to minimize the effect.

upon entering, being asian, we request that our quests remove their shoes so that the place keeps cleaner. but most of them are still in a daze surprised by their magical elevator/entrance experience. many, many people have passed through in past few months with thanksgiving gatherings, christmas get togethers, family reunions and membership class.

our door is the first thing people see and remains the feature that most people recall when they think of our place: “…i still remember the elevator opening…..”

Posted under not so big house blueprint

in this segment, i’ll detail my amore for the art and medium of comics. the title comes from a comic shop i frequented as a kid and a nod to my boy q and his blog.

been reading a few graphic novels in addition finishing three epics in the dc universe. the epics being final crisis, new krypton and the kingdom come sequel in the jsa. here are the graphic novels:

camelot 3000 is a groundbreaking series that i read as a kid: 1984 kidom! it was one of the first maxi-series in the us…a comic with a storyline that had a definite start and ending. miniseries were common running about 4 issues. but the maxi-series aimed to twelve issues or a whole year in length. unheard of! most comics had indefinite runs….until nobody cared and purchased the books. its like tv….there are shows go on forever or until the ratings decline. then there are miniseries that run a few nights or for a week. but the maxi-series concept has finally arrived to the small screen…a story with a predetermined ending…..not surprisingly produced by folks with comic influences: lost and battlestar galactica.

camelot 3000 was a sci fi, sword and sorcery and literary scramble with king arthur and the knights of the round table reincarnated in the year 3000 as the earth faces alien invasion. this is not for little kids…but perhaps for mid teens and above as it deals with issues of war, sexuality, politics, betrayal and destiny. not sure if kids would be interested! but i was…at age 13! and not just the sexuality parts! it was great reminiscing…so many deep memories. amazing how much i recalled…and some stuff i forgot. i must have read this over and over as a kid.

bottomless belly button is definitely not for kids as it deals with a slice of life as a family faces the impending divorce of their elderly parents. dash shaw has won much praise and attention for this massive depiction of the interaction, relationships and lives of this family. its a bit of a slow burn as you just watch them live their lives with the end in sight but its executed in a way where the climax is just silently heartbreaking. very real and very painful.

in the superhero genre, i reread kevin smith’s sound of violence…green arrow’s first adventure post resurrection. he faces a character that smith created and recently brought back in a batman mini series: Onomatopoeia. i think smith is the only person allowed to use the character.

i forgot how sophomoric and dirty smith is. but how can i forget? double entendres are everywhere! but it may fit the liberal, crusty old oliver queen. then again, this is how kevin smith writes nearly everything. however,  his run on green arrow, along with mike grell’s nuanced and realistic run are amongst the best in terms of characterization and story crafting.

finally, because of the end of the kingdom come sequel, i’m starting to re-read the original. will update next time!

last month i called my friend leo, leonardo and leopold, for christmas, noel, and leotard.

this month, i’ve called him leopatra.

so i asked our friend leo chen one day, if his name is short for anything or is it just leo? he said….just leo. it got me thinking where that name came from. then we just started making up origins of the name. and started calling him permutations of leo.

so for the next year, i’ll present one a week until we’ve exhausted the possibilities. i currently do not have 52 versions but only enough to get started. you can help if you’d like.

this week…..i will call my friend leo, leoben….in honor of battlestar galactica starting up again and finishing.

thanks so much for your suggestions so far! we had some of them on the list already but others we did not and they have been added! let me know if i don’t give you your props!

Posted under leo-graphy

when people come into the city, we are always surprised by where they want to visit or to go eat. they are equally surprised that we do not frequent those places or want to go eat there. no. i do not want to eat at ruby tuesdays , bennigans or tgifridays in times square. then they ask where we go……so here are the places we like…not the best or the cheapest or whatever category….just where we go and go on a regular basis…

not all the good food is south or south of us…there are a few places we love around where we live…and some places that we have to travel a bit north to get to. for italian, we like max soHA….an outpost of the max soHO down in the lower east side.  established spots in lower and mid manhattan have been opening up branches on the upper west side. for some reason instead of calling them branches, nyc prefers the term outpost. soHA for south of harlem as opposed to soHO for south of houston.

enough introduction! let’s have the food do some of the talking!

above, amoz is enjoying a bean soup….while the adults sampled(over two visits)rigatoni with sausage and meatballs, squid ink pasta with shrimp, sun dried tomato gnocci, tomato and basil salad with fresh mozzarella, squid ink ravoili, spaghetti carbonara, penne with a light tomato sauce and seared tilapia with mixed vegetables. its all hearty, fresh and tasty. with all the boring, generic italian places everywhere, its nice to eat at a place with variety and innovation….and a place where you can get familiar fare made from actual family recipes. thumbs up from all our visiting friends.

including my niece jaqueline who wonders what we’re going to order next.

she’ll be back later in the week with a special announcement.