duh!journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some low brow…some high minded…all duh!

here’s a story with all kinds of dumb and snickering galore!

first the article and then my comments at the bottom..this is from my boy, norman and the bbcnews:

A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served.

The suit was launched by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who said he might appeal against the ruling.

He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the “death, destruction and terrorisation” caused by God.

Judge Marlon Polk said in his ruling that a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a case to proceed.

“Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice,” Judge Polk wrote in his ruling.

Mr Chambers cannot refile the suit but may appeal.

‘God knows everything’

Mr Chambers sued God last year. He said God had threatened him and the people of Nebraska and had inflicted “widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants”.

He said he would carefully consider Judge Polk’s ruling before deciding whether to appeal.

The court, Mr Chambers said, had acknowledged the existence of God and “a consequence of that acknowledgement is a recognition of God’s omniscience”.

“Since God knows everything,” he reasoned, “God has notice of this lawsuit.”

Mr Chambers, a state senator for 38 years, said he filed the suit to make the point that “anyone can sue anyone else, even God”.

*********

this seems like an obvious waste of time.

why would you sue god unless you thought he was real? and if he were real, why would you sue him? it reminds me of the passage in the new testament where the armies of the world gather to fight god. and god dispatches them with a flick.

the alternative is of course is that there is no god. and if there is no god, why are you suing him? if there is no god*, why waste your precious moments suing the boogeyman? go get fios installed and get your porn on just like the rest of america who have nothing better to do.**

this guy would have better luck suing sasquatch. and that’s called irony, kids.

*the writer of this entry is not endorsing atheism….just making a point with humor.

**the write of this entry is not endorsing porn….just making a point with humor. but he is endorsing fios.

i was thinking that we need a mascot for duh!journal….or a funny pages section….or at least one regular comic strip. most newspapers and magazines have at least one of these. even the new york times….on sundays….in their magazine is a weekly strip. also, i wanted to commemorate the closing/passing of my favorite strip of all time, opus. today its retiring again for the last time after incarnations as bloom county, outland and for the past few years simply as opus. boo!!!(hoo)….i will be following the creator, berkeley breathed in his other art forms.

so i scoured the earth and am going to post the sasquatch ads from jack links beef jerky. sure you could look them up on google or youtube…..so what would be the point of watching them here?….but isn’t that the case with any video that’s posted? maybe you have found out about the videos here….will watch them elsewhere….and relive them here as i post them periodically.

so video one….the shaving cream prank…..

these videos communicate duh! because the humans in the videos mess with the monster known as sasquatch with disastrous results. you don’t mess around with monsters!! what makes it double duh! is that the dumb@$$e$ buy, consume and enjoy the product the commercials are selling giving the subtle subtext of dumb@$$e$ eat and like our beef jerky; we’re dummies! and you can be just like us! by eating our products!

duh!journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some low brow…some high minded…all duh!

i must admit that it gives me great pleasure in posting this story. isiah thomas, a former nba great with detroit, came to my city and destroyed the ny knicks franchise. this past week, a 911 call was made from his house in westchester…an accidental overdose by a 47 year old black unnamed male. btw, isiah is 47.

later, isiah denied any overdose and said the person who was taken to the hospital was his daughter….not him. the police are calling him a liar! as you read on, keep in mind that the thomas household is still denying the police’s version of the story.

from espn.com:

NEW YORK — A suburban police chief likened the conflicting accounts of an accidental overdose at Isiah Thomas’ home to a “cover-up” and rebuked the former New York Knicks coach Saturday for saying it was his teenage daughter who required treatment.

“It wasn’t his daughter,” Harrison Police Chief David Hall told The Associated Press. “And why they’re throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand.”

Authorities were called early Friday to Thomas’ Westchester County home, where police said a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills. Several media outlets reported that police confirmed it was Thomas who went to the hospital.

But reached on his cell phone Friday, the 47-year-old NBA great told the New York Post he had not been treated for a sleeping pill overdose, and that it was 17-year-old daughter Lauren who had a medical issue.

It “wasn’t an overdose,” he told the newspaper. “My daughter is very down right now. None of us are OK.”

Hall forcefully refuted Thomas’ statement.

“My cops … know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female,” Hall said.

“These people should learn something from Richard Nixon — it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up,” he added.

**********

from the nydailynews.com:

Hall said no suicide note was found, and police were classifying the case “as an accidental drug overdose.”

Early reports said emergency crews were called to treat a 47-year-old man, the same age as Thomas. Police sources later confirmed it was the NBA star.

Authorities also revealed Thomas had downed 10 Lunesta pills and lost consciousness by the time emergency workers arrived at his $4 million Westchester County home in the early hours of Friday morning.

But Thomas himself denied it was an overdose, adding that his daughter is “very down right now.”

Thomas’ son Joshua, 20, told the Daily News on Friday that the reports of sleeping pills were false and also said it was his sister, not his father, who needed medical attention.

Joshua lashed out at Hall for accusing his father of a coverup.

“Saying that someone is being thrown under the bus when you are talking about health issues is disrespectful,” the Indiana University student wrote in a text to The News.

“I love both my sister and dad and am glad that both are doing well. Thanks for all the support, but as a family we are fine and stronger than ever.”

The former Knicks coach remained out of the spotlight Saturday and did not return calls seeking an explanation for what really happened.

A Knicks spokesman refused to address Hall’s allegations, saying the club would stand by its original statement that claimed Thomas was dealing with a “family matter.”

Thomas has seen his reputation shattered in recent years for several losing seasons and a blockbuster sexual harassment suit against him and Madison Square Garden.

His handling of the reports of an overdose added further fuel to fans’ calls for him to step down.

“I wish him well healthwise but I wish he’d get out of New York,” said Skip Funt, 65, from Manhattan.

“I think he’s a disgrace to the Knicks because he can’t coach and he can’t manage. He’ll blame anybody just to make himself look good because that’s the kind of guy he is.”

“He was a good player in Detroit and I hated him as a general manager and a coach,” said transit worker Joe Boyce, 57, from Queens. “He’s got a lot of ghosts in his closet.”

**************

its another strange episode in the duh! life of isiah thomas!

duh!journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some low brow…some high minded…all duh!

a concussion is a brain bruise. you have too many of them and you start blanking out and then you start blacking out and then you lose brain functions….and then death.

so this player for the denver broncos has had so many of them….he can’t remember how many….when asked for specifics, he said either 8 or 10.

should he keep playing? duh!but then again……

from the denver post:

Stokley has concussion “8 or 10″

Hey, guys. Easy with the head butts next time.

Broncos receiver Brandon Stokley suffered a concussion Sunday after he took three sets of blows to the head. The first was after he made his first catch for 4 yards on the Broncos’ opening series.

On the next play, Stokley caught an 11-yard touchdown pass from Jay Cutler and took some more cranial abuse.

“On the touchdown, I got head-butted a few times from teammates,” Stokley said. “So that didn’t help.”

Stokley left for good early in the second quarter. He had just made a 14-yard reception and was touched down by Jacksonville safety Brian Williams. Stokley got up, started walking to the sideline — and collapsed to his knees.

“I kind of lost my equilibrium,” he said.

Stokley got up and returned to the sideline but didn’t return to play and still was foggy Monday. If it was his first concussion, Stokley would have a good chance of playing in the Broncos’ next game Monday night at New England. But as far as Stokley can recall, it was concussion No. 8 or 10. His playing status for the Patriots will be, at best, questionable.

“I don’t want to be a liability out there,” he said. “And I don’t want to be a vegetable when I’m 50. But if there’s any way possible, I’ll be out there playing.”

Stokley suffered a concussion last year in Game 5 against San Diego, but he didn’t miss playing time because there was a bye the next week. He said he has suffered three major concussions, the first playing for Southwestern Louisiana (now Louisiana-Lafayette).

“But back then, I got knocked out and couldn’t remember the score at halftime and what was going on, but they just threw you back in there in the second half and you played,” Stokley said. “Times have changed, thank goodness, for the better.”

The NFL collectively started taking concussion injuries much more seriously during the 2006 season. Broncos starting left guard Ben Hamilton missed all of last season with a concussion. The Broncos announced during the game Sunday that Stokley’s return was “probable,” but that may have been gamesmanship — the receiver watched the rest of the game from the sideline with a parka hood pulled over his head.

“Every team has the same protocol now dealing with concussions,” Stokley said. “It’s a good thing, because if it wasn’t for that, guys would just go back in and play.”

********

dude, you seem like a nice guy. please retire so you can make it to 50. and not be vegged out after that.

duh!journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some low brow…some high minded…all duh!

and sometimes we get a story that is duh! and scary…..

tina fey has been writing some great stuff, as well as using palin lines verbatim, for laughs. here’s a scene unlikely to make snl.:

from the nytimes:

“This is not a man who sees America as you see it and how I see America,” Ms. Palin has taken to saying.

That line follows passages in Ms. Palin’s new stump speech in which she twists Mr. Obama’s ill-advised but fleeting and long-past association with William Ayers, founder of the Weather Underground and confessed bomber. By the time she’s done, she implies that Mr. Obama is right now a close friend of Mr. Ayers — and sympathetic to the violent overthrow of the government. The Democrat, she says, “sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.”

Her demagoguery has elicited some frightening, intolerable responses. A recent Washington Post report said at a rally in Florida this week a man yelled “kill him!” as Ms. Palin delivered that line and others shouted epithets at an African-American member of a TV crew.

duh! journal scours the earth for dumb behavior….some lowbrow…some high minded….some mindbending…..but all duh!

for those of you who thought that china was nuts on censorship….below, rick reilly of espn.com details the university of virginia’s silly(duh!)plan to ban signs at all sporting events. a simple google will yield further outrage and anaylsis from others….but just not as funny.

Do you miss Beijing? Are you pining for some good ol’ fashioned totalitarianism? Enjoy seeing any small voice squashed like a ladybug under a Hummer?

Then come to the University of Virginia!

At Virginia a new rule bans signs of any kind at all sporting events, including football and basketball.

Not advertising signs, of course. Not “Beer: $8″ signs. Not “Give to the Virginia Scholarship Endowment” signs. No, only signs about Virginia teams, such as the one then third-year bio-medical engineering student David Becker held up at last year’s Duke football game, which read, “Fire Groh!” That’s Al Groh, the Virginia football coach who always manages to beat the Davids, but rarely the Goliaths.

“No signs,” the gendarme told Becker in taking away the sign. Becker asked why. Nobody knew. So he made another sign, this time smaller, thinking maybe it violated some kind of size-limit rule. They took that one, too. Becker asked why again. “Word from the athletic department,” the guard said. So he wrote “Fire Groh!” on a sheet of notebook paper. The guard took that, too, saying signs of a negative nature weren’t allowed and that if Becker wanted to go for one more, he’d gladly pitch him out under an “exit” sign.

THIS IS UN-AMERICAN. THIS ISN’T HAVANA. WHAT’S NEXT? NO YELLING? NO GRUMBLING? NO HEAVY SIGHING?

Now—no signs at all, pro or con. At Virginia! The nation’s first secular university! Founded by Thomas Jefferson himself in 1819! Framer of the constitution! Champion of “certain inalienable rights,” like free speech! The man who once wrote: “A little rebellion now and then is a good thing”!

Who, exactly, is Virginia protecting here? Groh? The man can handle himself. After all, he was once the head coach of the New York Jets.

“Seems odd,” says former Virginia star and current Bucs cornerback Ronde Barber. “You’d think if there was one university that would stand up for free speech, it’d be Virginia. When I was there, the signs were really clever.”

I’ll go farther than that. I’ve covered plenty of games where the only clever part of the game was the signs. College football without signs is like pretzels without salt. Who can forget these signs from last season?

“WE WANT A NEW CARR WITH LES MILES!”—Michigan fan

“KANSAS FOOTBALL: A TRADITION SINCE SEPTEMBER!”—Jayhawk fan

“IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE NOT A CORNHUSKER”—Colorado fan vs. Nebraska

Or, my favorite sign of all time in any sport, from a Bruins game in the ’70s: “JESUS SAVES AND ESPOSITO SCORES ON THE REBOUND!”

Virginia’s athletic department says it instituted the policy to promote a “positive game-day environment.” Ugh. Sounds like some $150/hour therapist wrote that one. Someone with tissues in all their pockets and a “Ban Dodge Ball” bumper sticker on their car. Whoever wrote it doesn’t get this: 99% of sports signs are positive.

Can you imagine what Jefferson himself would’ve thought of this new jack-booted policy? True, he grew to rue freedom of expression a little toward the end of his life, since the press was hammering him on his long-time affair with one of his slaves, Sally Hemings. (This might be why, to this day, Virginia still doesn’t have a journalism school.) But I ask you: What’s the point of founding a free university if that university is going to tell its students what they can say?

For instance, how are Virginia students supposed to express themselves about the Cavs’ 52-7 home opener loss to USC last Saturday? White T-shirts and Sharpies? Sign language? Hats worn at an angry angle?

“That’s the thing,” says Robert O’Neil, director of the Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression, also in Charlottesville. “We don’t quite know what constitutes a sign. Paint on someone’s chest? A T-shirt? It’s not quite clear.”

One thing is clear. This is un-American. This isn’t Havana. What’s next? No yelling? No grumbling? No heavy sighing? How are students supposed to effect change at their school? Morse-code flashlights? And if they can censor students at the stadium, what’s to keep them from doing it on The Lawn?

And if we’re worried about a “positive game-day environment,” shouldn’t Groh be held to it, too? Remind me: What’s so “positive” about 52-7?

This Saturday, the Cavs play Richmond and they’ll be wearing special throwback jerseys. Seems superfluous. Virginia’s already a throwback. To 1775.

Here’s what Virginia students should do for every home game from now on: Bring signs that say nothing. Bring signs that say, “This Is Not a Sign.” Or bring 60,00 signs and let the athletic department goons try to sort them out.

Because sometimes rebellion isn’t just a good thing. It’s the only thing.

*****************************************

how long before the school realizes that they have an unenforceable policy….and that this is making them look duh!

from the nytimes: A study conducted by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s own advocacy organization for transit riders found that nearly half of the subway stations examined “need more attention,” and that the worst stations had decrepit conditions, including water damage, exposed wires, rodents, foul odors, clogged track drains and general filth.

………….you needed a study to tell you that????? read on!

While calling for additional state and city aid for mass transit — a difficult proposition given the current fiscal downturn — the study also made several proposals: imposing “station impact fees” on new developments built within a quarter-mile of a subway station; enlisting business improvement districts, which are financed by special property assessments, to help maintain stations; and creating an “Adopt-a-Station” program.

The findings, part of a 61-page report released on Wednesday, came as no surprise to many subway riders, as similar complaints have been made by the Straphangers Campaign and other advocacy groups. But they carry particular weight coming from the Permanent Citizens Advisory Committee to the authority, created under state law in 1981 as the official voice for riders.

The stations are not merely subway entrances, but “welcome mats” to neighborhoods, said the panel, which called its report “Unwelcome Mats: New York’s Subway Stations in Disrepair.”

The committee noted with dismay that New York City Transit, the arm of the authority that runs the subway and buses, announced on July 9 that it would postpone various capital projects, including planned renovations at 23 subway stations, because of budget pressures.

In response to the report, New York City Transit issued a statement saying that the effort to keep stations in decent shape was “challenging, ongoing and one of our top priorities.”

The agency said that the new managers appointed to oversee the No. 7 and L lines — as part of an experiment to manage all aspects of subway operation by line — were working to analyze how best to improve stations. The agency also said that it had proposed a $71 million fund to address station infrastructure problems immediately, rather than waiting until a station is due for a full rehabilitation, which can take years to schedule.

For the study, the members and staff of the New York City Transit Riders Council, an arm of the advisory committee, inspected 50 of 422 stations and station complexes late last year and early this year. The sample represented stations from the most heavily trafficked to the least used.

The report said that 23 of the 50 stations had ratings below 70, on a scale of zero to 100, and therefore were “in need of attention.”

The report identified the five worst stations surveyed as Beach 90th Street on the A and Rockaway Shuttle lines in Queens; the 149th Street-Grand Concourse station on the No. 4 line in the Bronx; the 138th Street-Grand Concourse station on the Nos. 4 and 5 lines in the Bronx; the Jay Street-Borough Hall station on the A, C and F lines in Brooklyn; and the 103rd Street station on the No. 6 line in Manhattan.

Three of the stations had evidently never been renovated. The 149th Street station was renovated in 1992, and the 103rd Street station in 1984.

Four of the five worst stations, the report noted, were in sections of the Bronx and Brooklyn that are designated as economic development areas. The report said that the city’s “lack of participation” in maintenance had been “glaringly illuminated,” and it urged the city to do more.

The study found some signs of hope: A pilot cleaning program, started in 2007, appears to have significantly improved conditions at several stations.

from the gothamist.com:

Rats Boldly Swarming Subway Platforms

“People have seen them sitting on benches,” says Andrew Albert, an MTA board member and chair of the NYC Transit Riders Council. “From what riders have told us, they appear to be getting bolder.” That’s the subway rat population he’s talking about, which many commuters say is surging, at least according to an amNY article that’s teeming with great quotes. “Next thing you know the doors are going to open and one is going to come on the train with us,” one exterminator predicts.

Rats have been growing increasingly comfortable hanging out on subway platforms, with popular hot-spots including Chambers Street on the A, Jay Street-Borough Hall, West 4th Street, and Spring Street on the C – though rats who want to party on that exclusive platform have to agree to buy bottle. One theory is that increased interaction with people may, in a way, be domesticating the rats, or at least making them less fearful of humans. “They chase me to work,” says straphanger Yvonne Ouchikh. The MTA blames the rat boom on an increase in subway ridership that’s led to more litter.

starting soon! as nykr’s reflect on the city and 9/11 this week, a wide range of nyc posts raining down on you soon. back to the regular programming…

duh! journal scours the world for stupid(and overtly obvious)news! we found a diverse three course meal for all!

this is from gampepro.com: seems that this is news to microsoft!

‘Xbox vice president Don Mattrick acknowledged that regaining first place from Nintendo is unlikely, but he’s confident in a second place finish over Sony.

Microsoft will do everything within its power to beat arch rival Sony in this generation’s console war — even if it’s for second place.

In an interview with Business Week published on Wednesday, Xbox vice president Don Mattrick admitted the 360 probably won’t catch Wii, but he still believes his company will outsell the PlayStation 3.

“I’m not at a point where I can say we’re going to beat Nintendo,” he said, before predicting, “We will sell more consoles this generation than Sony.”

Microsoft has sold an estimated 20 million Xbox 360 units worldwide since November 2005. By contrast, Nintendo has sold 32 million Wiis in half the time, while Sony has sold 15 million PS3s during the same period.’

really? nintendo is going to win? microsoft even declared themselves the winners of this competition at one point! what they meant was that they were ahead. a year ahead as the 360 was released a full 365 before the wii. its like declaring yourself the winner way before the finish line. but now, microsoft is willing to mouth what everyone already knew….the wii is a hit! it is the winner of this round of console wars!

**********************

this is why so many (yankee)fans hate arod…he’s just not aware of his team or seemingly the game. the suspicion that he is self absorbed gets reinforced.

on sunday, the yankees lost and the blue jays won, moving ahead of the yankees in the standings. here’s the q/a from the nytimes that follows:

‘Without realizing what he was saying, Alex Rodriguez wrote off the Yankees’ chances. Asked about falling to fourth, Rodriguez tried to compliment the Blue Jays but made a damning statement about the Yankees in the process.

“I tell you what, a lot of people should be happy they’re not in the playoff race, because they’d be the scariest team,” Rodriguez said of the Blue Jays.

When reminded that the Yankees now trail Toronto — the team he had just stated was not in the race — Rodriguez did not know quite what to say.

“I’m too tired to answer that,” he said. “You confused me on that one.’

can you imagine jeter making the same mistake? no.

sigh. more like duh!

*******************

speaking of the nytimes, here’s some crappy reporting by them at the toronto film festival:

‘Over the last three days parties celebrated movies that were intended as much to be heard as seen. “It Might Get Loud,” a documentary about the electric guitar and what it becomes in the hands of Jimmy Page, Bono and Jack White, had a Friday night bash. “Every Little Step,” a documentary about the musical “A Chorus Line,” held a dance party (naturally) on Saturday, while “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” a film about teenage love and the modern version of the perfect mix tape, rented the Tattoo Rock Parlour club in downtown Toronto a few hours later.’

seems innocuous enough….except look at the accompanying photo with the article: jack white, “bono” and jimmy page:

wow! get your facts right! what makes it even more damning….here’s the accompanying caption for the photo:

‘From left, the musicians Jack White, the Edge and Jimmy Page at a screening of the film “It Might Get Loud” at the Toronto International Film Festival.’

doh! nytimes, you just wrote for duh!journal by accident! (btw, bono plays a terrible guitar)

former nba ref who bet on games that he worked(that’s illegal)had an interesting defense for his crimes: don’t lock me up for gambling….because i have gambling problem!

really? you couldn’t stop gambling because you couldn’t stop gambling??

here are few blurbs from espn.com:

“Disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy was a compulsive gambler whose road to professional and personal ruin began on the golf course, where he bet up to $500 a hole, according to an evaluation filed on the eve of his sentencing. “In short, he could not stop himself from gambling,” wrote Stephen Block, a longtime New York-based gambling treatment counselor.

Donaghy, 41, faces up to 33 months in prison at his sentencing Tuesday in federal court in Brooklyn after pleading guilty last year to taking thousands of dollars in payoffs from a professional gambler for inside betting tips. The evaluation was filed by his defense attorney, John Lauro, in a bid for leniency.

“In my professional opinion, Mr. Donaghy would never have committed these offenses if he was not a pathological gambler,” Block concluded.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can i defend myself with don’t lock me up! i couldn’t stop killing because i’m a pathological killer? i can’t stop killing because i can’t stop killing? maybe that’s a variation on the insanity plea. i’ve got a disease so i can’t help myself. that doesn’t make me want to let you go….it makes me want to lock you up! besides, you are admitting you did the crime!

i am sure there are fancy schmancy tricky lawyers out there who can out argue my reasoning and set people like this free. this breed of double talkers maybe shocked to find out people hate lawyers.

luckily, the judge in this case reads duh journal and sentenced this joker to a place where others also cannot control themselves.

I guess duh! journal also covers galactically stupid behavior by purported first world, sophisticated nations(see yesterday 8/12/8 )…and dumb deception by countries who want to be known as a first world, sophisticated nation.

in the early 90’s when the little league world series was captured by the taiwanese, they came to nyc to visit my mom’s chinese school. i told my mom that these kids don’t look like they’re in junior high….they look like they’re ready for college. my mom said that i was being ridiculous. i insisted that middle school kids don’t have mustaches and 5 o’clock shadows. later on, it was confirmed by investigators that some of the “little leaguers” were not so little.

the moral of the story is that when you get caught lying in sports at the international level, you look stupid.

this is called foreshadowing, kids.

here’s a trio of disturbing smoke and mirrors stories:

from abcnews: So the Chinese women have their first-ever Olympic team gold medal. Good for them. But their prize will always be viewed under a cloud of suspicion — prior to these Games, several publications, most notably The New York Times, found evidence that at least two of the Chinese gymnasts were only 14, two years younger than the Olympic minimum — and to some extent the image of gymnastics has suffered a black eye. The Olympics is, above all else, based on the principles of fair competition, and the promotion of healthy bodies through sport. There is something mildly discomfiting about the sight of such tiny youngsters weighed down by the hopes of a nation, even after the gold medals are hanging around their feathery necks.

from cnn: Martha Karolyi, the national team coordinator of the second-placed United States team, noticed something. It was another hint that at least one of the Chinese gymnasts may be underage and breaking the rules at these Olympics.

“One of the girls has a missing tooth,” Karolyi said, suggesting that the gymnast had lost her baby tooth and an adult tooth had yet to replace it.

“I have no proof, so I can’t make an affirmation,” she said of the alleged age falsification on the Chinese team. “But it possibly could be true. That doesn’t give an even playing field.”

from NYT: Pigtailed and smiling, Lin Miaoke, age 9, stood in a red dress and white shoes during Friday’s Olympic opening ceremonies and performed “Ode to the Motherland” in what would become one of the evening’s most indelible images: a lone child, fireworks blazing overhead, singing a patriotic ballad before an estimated one billion viewers.

Except that her proud father, Lin Hui, noticed “that the voice was a little different from hers.” On Tuesday, Mr. Lin said in a telephone interview that he had assumed “the difference might be caused by the acoustics.”

Acoustics had nothing to do with it. Under pressure from the highest levels of the ruling Communist Party to find the perfect face and voice, the ceremonies’ production team concluded that the best solution was to use two girls instead of one.

Miaoke, a third grader, was judged cute and appealing but “not suitable” as a singer. Another girl, Yang Peiyi, 7, was judged the best singer but not as cute.

“Everyone should understand this in this way,” Mr. Chen said. “This is in the national interest. It is the image of our national music, national culture, especially during the entrance of our national flag. This is an extremely important, extremely serious matter.”

By Tuesday, the Chinese news media had already pounced on the story, instigating a national conversation that government censors were trying to mute by stripping away many, but not all, of the public comments posted online.

Many remaining comments expressed outrage over the cold calculation used to appraise the girls.

“Please save the last bit of trueness in our children,” wrote one person, who used the online name Weirderhua. “They think Yang Peiyi’s smile is not cute enough? What we need is truth, not some fake loveliness! I hope the kids will not be hurt. This is not their fault.”

Beijing enhanced Olympics show

with faked fireworks

BEIJING, China (AP) — Not all was what it seemed during the spectacular opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics.

Beijing organizers confirmed Tuesday that some of the fireworks display featured prerecorded footage.

Fireworks that burst into the shape of 29 gigantic footprints were shown trudging above the Beijing skyline to the National Stadium near the start of the ceremony.

Though the footprint-shaped fireworks were real, some of the footage shown to television viewers around the world and on giant screens inside the “Bird’s Nest” stadium featured a computer-generated three-dimensional image.

“It was confirmed that previously recorded footage was provided to the broadcasters for convenience and theatrical effects — as in many other big events,” Beijing organizing committee spokesman Wang Wei said. “On the day of the ceremony there were actual footprints of fireworks from the south to the north of the city.

“However, because of the poor visibility of the night, some previously recorded footage may have been used.”

The computerized images were produced by Crystal Digital Technology Co. of Beijing.

“We did our best to create a rendering that would look like the shot was taken live,” company spokesman Lei Ming told the Beijing Times. “Most people could not tell the difference.”

NBC said broadcasters Bob Costas and Matt Lauer told viewers the display was cinematic.

“This is actually almost animation,” Lauer said on the air.

The ceremony won rave reviews around the world and was watched by more than 1 billion people.

In the United States on NBC, the ceremony averaged 34.2 million U.S. viewers, making it the biggest American television event since the Super Bowl.

*********************

looks like matt lauer was wrong: it wasn’t almost animation…. it was animation! i’m sure the show would have looked great “regular” or live. nobody in the stadium seemed to complain.

i was trying to figure out why this triggered my duh! alarms. who’s stupid or looks stupid in this story? while the chinese were dumb to think they could pull these things off without anyone knowing, i think unfortunately, its the olympic audience that winds up feeling stupid. here they are enjoying what they thought was spectacular and real sights…a show for the ages…..tremendous athletic competition….but they are actually watching cartoons! imagine thinking star wars was real until someone schooled you about special effects.

mary katherine gallagher thinks our feelings about the beijing olympics can best be expressed in this page from superman by geoff johns and gary frank:

this is a black mark on the olympics…is deception part of the olympic spirit? maybe in china. they sound like they’re ok with it! or maybe they got the real olympic spirit right…the spirit of self promotion.

when you’re trying to make an impression on the world, why would you risk this? don’t they know how fast stories like this spread? its like they don’t have the internet there. at least, not the whole internet. it smacks of arrogance.

if i was agnostic about the olympics before, when i think of the olympics now, i think of arcade fire’s rebellion: “everytime i close my eyes, lies, lies….” the realest thing during these olympics is russia crushing georgia.