Hosive

in the middle of my ny fall, i got to go out to california for a san diego fall. too bad, it was more like a pacific northwest fall..it was either too rainy or chilly to enjoy much of the beaches and water. still a good change of scenery.

i was here for part 2 of a 4 part gathering of younger asian american ministers for mentoring and ministering to by 3 seasoned ministers: dave gibbons, ken fong and bob roberts.

our first gathering was in dallas where we got to know each other a bit and start covering issues young leaders need to wrestle with….from vision to administration to asian american identity to calling to personal development to family. i loved interacting with the different guys and hearing their ideas.

two distinct groups started to emerge from the second gathering….a group of more entrepreneurial guys who’s heart is to start new ministries and plant new churches….and another group of guys who are focused on long term care and shepherding of the people. planters and pastors. i fell into the latter group. so i connected more with ken fong who has been at his church for decades.  dave gibbons was more for the first group and he was sometimes waaay out there for me but his thoughts challenged and stretched my brain. bob roberts was more in line with dave in a homey southern style.

it was not all work as some of us raced go-karts one evening….and thus begins a host of activities that theresa would have loved. she won some prize money at a company race one time.

that same night we also went out to a pub to watch the election results. strange. no pictures made it to my camera. theresa would have loved the beer too.

another afternoon, we went to legoland to check out the store for exclusives…more theresa loves.

the amusement park itself was closed as it is primarily a weekend attraction during this season. however, they open the gates for anyone who wants to check out their extensive store. there were about 10 other people in the store when we entered. there were some deals, special editions and unique items but nothing theresa would have liked…so i passed on them.

finally i got to hang out with old friends over great meals. L2 always treats us to the yummiest grub in town. in fact, they research it and then bring us. here i am with dj, alice and nat.

i wasn’t able to take theresa this time but perhaps when we head out to thailand she’ll be able to go with us. i’m just hoping i can make it to the third gathering at the end of may 2009…pretty close to our due date. i may have to miss out on mentoring, continuing friendships, side trips in my old hometown….and good eats! but if i don’t make it, it’ll be for something equally joyful and most likely something of greater joy.

its that time of year again…the most wonderful time of the year….

i’ve been telling theresa all year that christmas is coming…and i was right….its here…along with our christmas traditions….including getting a tree and decorating it….

we love us some real christmas…and some fake christmas….

we bought the tree and gave it a day or two to breathe and spread out….then we gathered some of our city traveling companions…our nyc ‘party machine’

i like this current edition of the party machine(renamed club vision to redeem the moniker and the reputation)because there are members from every era and edition. in every city, there is a group of folks who travel in the city with us as we live life together. we called ourselves self deprecatingly and adoringly the party machine…self mockingly because c’mon, who calls themselves that seriously? worshipfully as a tribute to the snl skit janet reno’s party machine that mocked nia peeple’s party machine. friendship, joy and laughter are the marks of our gatherings.

the 2008/2009 lineup includes these members from past pm’s….weiling from the efc/chicago days, jeremy from the cbc/maryland era, debby from all the incarnations…as well as nyc members only: steph, angie, norman. then there’s me and t…theresa has been part of the md and nyc days…and i’ve been there since the start. the group reminds me of god’s goodness and provision over the past two decades.

our trimming party always has food galore including sweets and savories, breads, meats, fruit, a lil lambic framboise, quiche, fish stew, candies, juices…mostly finger food throughout the night.

after eating, most watch me and steph decorate the tree. just kidding. sorta.

for the most part, it was actually steph…but a few others helped. i primarily directed and put on the finishing touches.

Finally, the last tradition at our christmas tree trimmings: we finish the night watching a u2 concert together. last year, we watched something vintage 1989 from the joshua tree days. this year was 1983ish from red rocks and the war, pre-unforgettable fire era. some strange traditions but they are ours.

and here we are in all our glory. here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more. through the years, we’ll always be together, if the fates allow. hang a shinning star upon the highest bough. and have yourselves a merry little christmas…now. Let your heart be light. from now on, our troubles will be out of sight. make the Yule-tide gay, from now on,
our troubles will be miles away. and have yourselves a merry little christmas…now.

it was a fried turkey bonanza in maryland during the two thanksgiving meals that we feasted on. first, theresa’s (caucasian)uncle was out of town…he usually does the american meal and the korean relatives provide the kimchi….so it was up to theresa and her brother john to produce the festivities. but because of theresa’s pregnancy,  nobody wanted her to do anything so they ordered a fried turkey from a local cajun restaurant. the turkey was decent but i was disappointed in the seasoning and flavoring. it was too similar to a regular thanksgiving turkey. in fact, i think uncle rob’s turkey is better! i guess its wiser to order a ghetto dish like this from a ghetto joint and not such a fancy schmancy place?

but no complaints on food. there was still plenty to sample and indulge in. all this food was for 10-11 people. the family kept cooking the whole day! we had the turkey and the ham and a ton of side dishes! i thought more people were coming over but theresa’s aunt, cousin and brother just wanted to cook independent of who was scheduled to show up.

a few days later, we got a ghetto fried turkey from popeyes….technically, its no longer called a fried turkey but a cajun turkey…but it was much much more flavorful than the gourmet one above.

we used to host an annual fried turkey party in md but when we left, our good friend angelo kept up the tradition with a fried turkey potluck and this is usually where we make our local area appearance during the holidays.

its a gathering of mostly old friends with a few new faces. i’ve known some of these “kids” for almost 15 years now…..and it was here that we announced our pregnancy. i wanted to tell people privately and slowly but i had to prevent people from tackling theresa when they greeted her!

our annual contribution to the fried turkey party is another bird…another favorite…a chain but this one is from guatemala and is a latin american treat. when it opened in the dc area, there were lines and complaints by neighbors about the crowds…and the trash generated by the rabid fans hungry for a taste of home. it features broasted chicken…a unique cooking method that both fries the chicken and roasts it to keep it juicy.

granted there is less broasted chicken than fried turkey but this stuff runs out faster than the purported main attraction. in fact, it is one of the first dishes to go overall.

i am amused at the attempt at worldwide domination….la, houston, dc, nyc…i can understand…but china????

we have a pollo campero in nyc and i need to go sometime!

when we left maryland to the cosmopolitan metropolis, weknew  that we would be leaving behind(at least)one thing we love for sure….chick fila. we heart this franchise with its tasty real meat sandwhiches and nuggets with a southern spice; their fresh lemonade and sweet tea; and waffle fries…..also wraps and other periodic goodies. since chick fila has a sabbath policy and shuts down on sundays, it makes it nearly impossible to compete in new york…at least to make profit. we searched the website in vain to find a city franchise….however, the rumors persisted of a secret location on the campus of nyu…..an unpublished hidden spot……

gathering clues and asking students directions, my sweet t and her adopted daughters, steph and angie set out to look for some secret chick fila to suprise me with. that’s angie sharing the joy…and steph is holding the camera.

i was speaking on campus giving them time to explore and excavate. the fear was that you needed id to get into the building but it turns out that the franchise is in a public food court.

look how adorable she is happily finding chicken and waffle fries. she’s glowing like she’s pregnant.

this the last time i’ll see conan in the fall in nyc as he is set to move to la to take over the tonight show from jay leno. jimmy fallon will then inherit the late night show sometime in march. so the winter is your last chance to catch conan….at least in nyc. here’s how…….

after you go to the late night website on nbc.com to get the number for tickets…call and check for availablity….then reserve up to the max of 4 tix. find three friends and gather on the mezzanine at 30 rock/nbc studios at 49th between 5th and sixth between 2:30 and 3:15 to pick up your tickets and wristbands. the instructions say to come no later then 4:15…but i do this 3-4 times a year…sometimes they hand out better seats in the order that you line up so its worth it to show up a bit earlier(only one time was it completely random where you sat relative to when you lined up to pick up your tickets). then come back at 4:30p to line up according to the assigned placement.

the best part of all this: tickets are free.

this time I went with debby fung, angie and steph.its really nice to have debby back in the fold as our lives had a big hole without her.

snoop dogg, comedian brian regan and musical guest blitzen trapper were on. snoop dogg infuriated steph by saying that football was a man’s sport and not for girls! the usually super funny brian regan was only regular funny…which is still good. blitzen trapper was too folksy for me but its nice to hear real music and not commercial crap.

a bit sad as conan finishes his long run in my city.

conan has already bought a 10 million dollar house in the los angeles area. i hope to one day catch a conan show out there as well.

this is what my sweet t has been saving for. armed with $90 worth of gift certificates, a $10 coupon and my toysrus credit card which gets me 4% off, we headed to times square for the flagship toys r us to pick up guitar hero world tour(the full band game). theresa affirms that i am the master of the deal and laughs at how i accumulate discounts and coupons.

she loves guitar hero but when rock band came out, we resisted the temptation to jump ship to a different franchise. she is an early adopter and i am loyalist….with a common love for nintendo. so that combo left us waiting for guitar hero to catch up and then exceed the current band playing technology. with wifi access to the new guitar hero community, this is an endless box of musical fun. this is the real wii music….as opposed to that title that bears the name.

i wanted to get this early on sunday to avoid the crowds and lugging it around and through those masses; especially around times square…. but the store said they would not have them. i know that they lie and went to see after lunch. i didn’t want to wake up early and find out that they have decided to start telling the truth.

they are liars. they had at least 10 on display just for the wii…and 10 each for the other platforms. we picked out a box that looked pretty decent and the cashier immediately put it on the ground and put on the counter a pre-roped box with easy carry handle.

as i carried the box through the city, people gawked, pointed and lusted at our prize.

look at theresa tear into it! she can’t wait! i like making her happy. this year has been about that. more of her year since so much of her life is orbited around my life with the church and my work.

this is a small pleasure in life since i’ll wind up paying $50-$60 bucks out of pocket for the whole set….the price of a regular game.

there’s a lot of stuff here….drums, a guitar, the game, a mike, stickers….and tons of foam and packaging.

i am zero good at these games so theresa made steph play until steph was falling asleep with one eye open.

here’s the down side of early adopting….crappy products out of the box. the first few off the assembly line may not have all the bugs removed. theresa said that two of the drum panels were not responsive. she went online to find that many people had problems from the one theresa experienced to drums being too responsive. luckily, activision responded quickly and will issue tuning kits that will hopefully fix the problem. that seems to have satisfied the rabid fans. for now.

but when we invited people over…..they seemed to have fun just the same. these test drummers play their instruments hard so there were fewer problems with responsiveness. playing together seems to be a big hit. we’ve got all the instruments with the three included in the set and the old guitar from the original game.

so come on over and play in the magical fall with us. with theresa at the very least while i watch and laugh.

the magical fall is in full swing as we headed to nj and the meadowlands for a coldplay show. i got to see a free show at msg in the spring but coldplay decided not to make a return visit to the city on this leg. i likely will not see them again on this tour if they do wind up playing a full show at msg since their shows are pretty uniform. their sunday and monday shows at izod were nearly identical!

i haven’t been to a show at the meadowlands since i went to see u2 with debby fung two tours ago way back in 2001. i think the arena was named something else but i forget what. its hard to find a sponsor for this place especially since the nets are rumored to be moving to brooklyn in a few years, rendering this a tenant-less arena….not too marketable.

here we are at our pretty decent seats right by the side of the stage….i thought we would be closer to mid arena. norm and steph had tickets in the next section but we were on opposite ends of our sections so it felt like we were two sections apart!

as we waited for things to start, we saw the crowd rise, take pictures and react to gwyneth and her mom blythe danner make their way to their seats across the arena from us. they seemed to enjoy the concert a lot.

my hair is long and floppy these days. no more spiking for a bit. i’m tired of gel….and it being the reason i have to check bags in. $15-$25 per bag!

i didn’t get any good shots of the opening act, duffy….mostly because she played in the dark with minimal lighting effect. she was a treat since i rarely know the opening acts…but duffy has been headlining her own club shows and i have her debut cd after i saw her tear it up on conan. while i enjoyed her, most were waiting for coldplay. she did her best to charm and warm the crowd. she said that this was the largest crowd she had ever played in front of.

coldplay started the concert with new songs from their latest album and then proceeded to forget they had  new material and went into their greatest hits mode. the crowd was into the latter but i want to hear the new tunes. however, it’s nice to hear old favorites. they did play more of their new stuff later.

this was the best coldplay show i’ve seen….they’ve become(even more)polished and create an intimate, light and playful connection with the crowd. they move around a lot and play with fervent energy. i sometimes complain that their shows with the cameras on are better than when they are off. but they brought it tonite!

the other knock on them of course is that they play short shows. they played like 17/18 full songs; they only had a one song encore. and they played under an hour and a half. by contrast, u2(old guys)play 23/24 full songs and go for nearly 2 hours. billy joel(another old guy)played 3 hours at shea over the summer….twice!

but what we got from them was magical. my favorites of the new songs live were lovers in japan, death and all of his friends and viva la vida. of the older stuff, i still love fix you…their most transcendant song. the hardest part and the scientist(acoustic)were also excellent. i wish they would have played longer versions of god put a smile on my face and talk. i could have done without speed of sound.

i joked with justin that most people will sit for the majority of the show waiting and standing only for yellow. that joke became prophecy as the people around me did not really know the new stuff.

i stood, sang and cheered the whole time. i do love you coldplay….but play longer shows! especially since you’ve jacked up the prices.

still a nice little night with my sweet t. she was pretty happy.

i usually don’t share that much about ministry which leads people to wonder if i do any ministry at all as a pastor. it seems like i am doing anything but ministry with all the concerts, shows, restaurants, trips i attend and the interests i pursue. the reality is that i do a lot of ministry…i work as much(or more)as i play. i spend the main part of my life working. and that’s the point….i am blessed to live a rich, rich life.

i minister…..but i have a life apart from ministry which i actively pursue. i’ve grown up in the church i’ve seen the dudes who do nothing but think, eat, drink, sleep and throw up ministry. that’s all they blog about because they’ve got nothing else to blog about. that’s all they can bring out from their souls. i don’t want to be near anything like that because i’ve seen those dudes flame out and wind up selling insurance, electrical wires, heart attacks, something, anything…you name it.

my friend dj chuang says that i am one of the more healthy ministers he has encountered with a good chance of doing this work long term. this is high praise from someone who spends a lot of time hanging and tracking with ministers. i don’t know if i believe my own press(i was trained not to)but i know that there are other things in me i want to pursue in addition to ministry. maybe too many things. and i’ve got a lot of other things i want to talk to people about besides churchy church.

but once in awhile, there is something joyous i would like to share about my church life:

a bunch of couples went to the weekend to remember conference to recharge our marriages. it was a great time to dine, hang out, laugh and be encouraged with other couples. i love the people in my church and i love being with them.

i love wendy and ernie who are so different and yet are on the same page. i love mike who takes over so i can relax and rest my brain. i love the quiet grace that oli ghaw-lee exudes. i love the divergent reactions peggy and leo have when we laugh about sex. i love joking around too much with chris and wayne. i love the generous hearts of their wives, rebecca and pam. i love calvin’s deep spirituality. i love carol’s deep madness(which she hides until she feels more steady). i love them like a parent who’s crazy about their kid when everyone else just sees another baby.

these were vibrant times together.

as for the teaching times, topics included resolving conflict, communication skills, sex, fatherhood and challenges to marriage.

I didn’t learn a lot of new things as the conference as the program was designed to cast a wide net to catch everyone including new marrieds and total space cadet couples. for example, during the sharing time some shared that they learned that “they were supposed to work together” and “i have to love my wife”. being in and around ministry and marriages for 18 years, i could have taught the class or at least parts of it. and i do teach this stuff….in my pre-marital sessions with couples.

but what was helpful were the exercises that got me and theresa to talk. we had a great time interacting and laughing. at some points, we laughed too loud as the couples near us weren’t always having a good time. one husband spent the project time lecturing his wife. another couple looked like they had just survived a bombing. we laughed softer when we became aware of them.

we were even given a date night where we were to go to a restaurant, wine and dine and then let the night run its magical course. we spent our time at a suburban mega-grocery-mart going through the aisles getting stuff we could not get in the city for prices we could never find in the city. there were 4 other shoppers in the whole place, giving us free reign of the store. doesn’t sound romantic but we spent an hour and a half just talking and enjoying each other. time that we don’t have a lot of because….we are both out a lot doing ministry! there’s my alibi right there for all those haters! church work does dominate a lot of our lives so it was great to have that extended time together….even if it was at a supermarket….besides,that’s exactly what theresa wanted to do! her eyes lit up as we drove past the strip malls.

and the rest of the night?