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Archive for the ‘living in america’ Category

Aug-7-2009

living in america: bling bling pastor

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another in the vibe of craig kilborn’s moment of zen.

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third world country guy is seething.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america, moment of zen
Jun-4-2009

living in america: kentucky fried justice

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

first, the story followed by the story analysis….

Ex-soldier apologizes to Iraqi family for raping, killing

(CNN) — A U.S. soldier convicted of murdering an Iraqi family spoke out for the first time Thursday, issuing a public apology for his crimes.

Steven Green, who escaped the death penalty this month, told relatives of the victims that he is “truly sorry for what I did in Iraq.”

“I helped to destroy a family and end the lives of four of my fellow human beings, and I wish that I could take it back, but I cannot,” Green said, reading a statement at a victim impact hearing. “And, as inadequate as this apology is, it is all I can give you.”

The family refused to accept the apology.

Green was found guilty in U.S. District Court in Kentucky of raping a 14-year-old girl and murdering her, her parents and her 6-year-old sister in the town of Yusufiya, about 20 miles south of Baghdad, in 2006.

A jury could not reach a unanimous decision on the death penalty, which means the judge is required under law to impose a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole.

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look, i’m no blood thirsty death penalty monger…but if there was a crime that called for the death penalty, this one seems to fit? in other words, what do you have to do to get the death penalty in kentucky?….he raped a 14 year old then killed her….killed her parents and a 6 year old. guilty. death penalty?

seems like a no-brainer. does it matter that the crime happened in iraq?

third world country guy is seething.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america
May-24-2009

memorial day weekend musings: welcome to america

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it might have just been an excuse to hang out with q and the lee fam…the kids are pretty animated these days…

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but after many a year in the states, a few deportation scares, a marriage to an all american girl and two boys born in philly, my boy q swore an oath to relinquish following principalities and despots…to become a united states citizen.

much to his delight, his american bride has decided to keep him and the marriage going…even after the ceremony!; which was a much shorter affair than i expected…maybe 15 minutes? many folks left before it was finished!…literally after their family member received their certificate! imagine students and their guests leaving the facility after receiving their diplomas!

still, a moving milestone and i was glad to be there with my friend.

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as we celebrate this weekend and remember those who sacrificed for our way of life…i invoke the yankee stadium 7th inning stretch call for prayer for our troops. thank you, friends.

Posted under living in america, politics
Apr-30-2009

living in america: deluxe hand dryers

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

we use jet engines to dry our hands. while many(elsewhere)have never flown before, we are installing smaller versions of planes in our bathrooms so that we can rid ourselves of pesky water residue on our hands.

the upside of this of course is that we do use less paper products. the old way was to destroy forests, creating barren wastelands,  so that we can rid ourselves of pesky water residue on our hands.

i do confess…i love the dyson hand dryer! i usually take a pass on most air blowing devices but happily waddle over to the dysons when i see one installed. this is the most effective dryer that i’ve ever used. the old ones rarely did much, using so much electrical juice  just to move the water around…..i had more success waving my arms around in circular motions-which is how i suspect most people around the world satisfyingly dry their hands.

but in some parts of the world, they do not intentionally dry any parts of their bodies. its so hot there, they enjoy the coolness any excess water brings….so this device becomes double confounding.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america
Feb-4-2009

living in america: snickerliscious

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

what is life like in the states? what do we spend our time doing? i don’t want to exposite too much but rather just let us soak in the zen moment of how we live in the states…how we use our creative energies while the world moves forward in gaza, the sudan, iraq, you name it. its a different world.

i was stunned and strangely attracted to this….

what are the best minds in our country doing? coming up with new words like substantialiscious. and combining words like peanut with metroplis. i’m sure these marketing guys have degrees from top tiered schools and 6 figure incomes. what are the best minds in pakistan doing? figuring ways to obtain nuclear weapons and smuggle them into the states. they also have degrees from top tiered universities but their treasures are in heaven.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america

Jan-8-2009

living in america: bailout for the porn industry

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

Porn industry seeks federal bailout
Posted: 03:00 PM ET

From CNN’s Rebecca Sinderbrand and Mark Preston

Larry Flynt is asking for a bailout.

Larry Flynt is asking for a bailout.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.

–CNN’s Chloe Melas contributed to this report

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this should also go under duh!journal….but its more about america and the crazy way we live here…especially if americans do give the porn industry a bailout! sex in america is an inalienable right! sexual fulfillment is manifest destiny. food, medicine, affordable housing….you’re on your own.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america
Nov-21-2008

say no to HIT entertainment

do my wife a favor and write a quick email to hit entertainment who released the first 3 seasons of fraggle rock but will only release the 4th season as part of a 4 season set to screw those who faithfully bought the first 3 seasons. i’ve done most of the work for you. all you need to do is cut and paste(but feel free to add your own words too):

send this:

dear sirs:

i will not be buying the complete fraggle rock set as a protest to your decision to not release the 4th season of fraggle rock.
i will also be very conscious of any future releases you have and will not be purchasing any of those.
further, like many fans, I will use blogs, internet postings and word of mouth urging others not to do business with you until you change your mind.

in fact, i learned of this on a blog posting!

please release the 4th season so that your loyal fans can complete their collections.
please also keep me updated of the situation so that my buying habits can adjust to your decision.

thank you,

to here:

consumerrelations@hitentertainment.com

here’s the full story:

Back in January it was announced that HIT! Entertainment was planning to release “Fraggle Rock: Complete Fourth Season” on DVD in fall 2008. The box set would be the final installment for Fraggle collectors, including the final 26-episodes of the beloved show plus another helping of exclusive bonus features.

Back in April, HIT Entertainment representatives began sharing an exact release date for the highly-anticipated box set. The exact message sent out by HIT’s Consumer Services (as late as July 2008) said that “Fraggle Rock Season 4 will be releases on October 28, 2008. We are not sure of what bonus features this set will include. You may want to try and email us again in August. Thank you for your interest in Fraggle Rock.” And even as late as a July 27th presentation at Comic-Con Internation, Henson Company representatives (including Red Fraggle herself) stated that the fourth season was planned for release later this year.

Now it was also announced at Comic-Con that HIT Entertainment is planning to release “Fraggle Rock: The Complete Series Collection” this fall as well. This 20-disc DVD set, with all 96 episodes, would feature the content of the first three season box sets plus the remaining fourth season episodes and a handfull of new bonus features. The item has a suggested retail price of $139.98 and is planned for release on November 4, 2008. The indication at the time of the announcement was that this big box set would arrive in stores as a complement to the separate release of Season Four on DVD. However now the studio is telling the fans something completly different.

With the formal announcement of the Complete Series Collection, eager fans and collectors began to send inquiries directly to HIT! Entertainment to find out the exact details of the supposed fourth (and final) box set. However the fans received a new and startling report from the customer service staff:

Thank you for contacting us. As of right now, we are not releasing Season 4 as a stand alone item. It is only available as part of the complete series collection. There are no plans at this time to release it alone.

According to company spokesmen, the current plan is to only release the complete series, with no current listing on the schedule for the fourth Season as a separate DVD. Needless to say, fans and collectors are outraged by this news.

People who faithfully purchased he individual season sets for the first three seasons, are now forced to re-buy seasons those seasons just the get the final 24 episodes and the last batch of bonus features. With a suggested retail price of $49.99 per season, faithful fans have already invested approximately $150 in their collections. But now they’ll have to shell out another $140 just to get the content of the last five discs of the 20-disc series set. Many fans simply can’t afford this, especially with the current economic climate.

As HIT has touted in many of their press releases, the season box sets of Fraggle Rock came as “a direct result of a fan-driven campaign calling for the series’ DVD debut“. Legions of fans proved that they were down with Fraggle Rock, as they created an online petition that was signed by more than 35,000 fans urging for the DVD release of Fraggle Rock. HIT Entertainment responded and released “Fraggle Rock: Complete First Season” in 2005. Fan loyally and enthusiastically purchased the season set, as HIT said the success of the first season would determine if the subsequent seasons would be released. Sales were good, and the second season followed in 2006. Fans again flocked to the stores to show support for the series, hoping their support would sustain the franchise. And in 2007 when season three was released, the fans purchased the set with hopes that their collections would soon be completed. However now it appears that the only way to finish one’s collection is for fans to re-buy what they have already purchased. HIT’s total disrespect for the loyal fans who have faithfully supported the series is disheartening.

We urge HIT Entertainment to rethink their strategy and release the fourth (and final) season box set separate from the complete series package. While “Fraggle Rock: The Complete Series” is great for newcomers to Fraggle Rock on DVD, HIT shouldn’t penalize the collectors who have already purchased the first three seasons independently. Fans should not have to re-buy seasons one, two and three in order to get the final installment of the series.

Now here’s where you come it; petitioning and fan support helped get Fraggle Rock onto DVD, so together hopefully we can get urge HIT to give us a respectful (and economical) close to our DVD collections. Please, take a few minute to contact HIT Entertainment and request an independent DVD release for Fraggle Rock Season Four.

The HIT customer service number is:
1-866-405-7625

You can write them a letter at:
HIT Entertainment
Attn: Consumer Relations (Fraggle Rock)
PO Box 9000, Allen TX, 75013

And you can e-mail them at:
consumerrelations@hitentertainment.com

With your help, the joy of Fraggle Rock can be shared with all fans and viewers in a fair and economical way.

Posted under living in america, tv
Nov-19-2008

living in america: creamers

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is yet another:

go down the aisles of any supermarket in america…even the ones in the city…and you have multiple choices of anything and everything: toothpaste, mac and cheese, candy, soups, cereal, chips, sodas….options, options, options. now the option disease has been caught by…..flavored coffee creamers.

i am a believer and yet i stand in unbelief.

included in this cultural turn are limited edition flavors….produced in small batches, released only for a short period. the holidays seem to inspire such marketing. so here we have tiramisu(eh. a little too alcoholy for coffee in the morn), italian sweet creme(real good…and fatty tasting)and mocha almond fudge(too good….this is not a creamer! this is a dessert topping or just flat out dessert)

here’s another targeted at young kids drinking coffee? this was tasty too….especially the luxurious custard part.

and there are, literally, dozens more flavors! i will update as i get a chance to taste them.

i am delighted and ashamed to be living in america.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america
Nov-8-2008

living in america:sarah palin wins!….something

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

no doubt that sarah palin is a doll…..literally. actually multiple dolls of sarah palin were available this election season: one g-rated and one g-string rated. read on….from the atlanta journal-constitution:

Cabbage Patch Palin doll gets the biggest bid

After all the anxious moments, frantic voting and many, many trips to the polls, Buzz can confidently report that Sarah Palin has emerged victorious.

In the eBay one-of-a-kind Cabbage Patch Kids presidential dolls online election, at least.

The five-day benefit for the Marine Toys for Tots Foundation touted the Georgia-bred dolls in the very limited edition guises of presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama, along with their respective running mates, Palin and Joe Biden. The Palin plush alone netted $19,000, but the winning bidder at 8 a.m. Tuesday actually plunked down $36,950 for all four dolls.

The Obama doll came in second with a winning bid of $8,400, followed by McCain with $6,000 while the Biden doll went for $3,550.

The winning bidder was not immediately disclosed. We may never know, at least not until the buyer reposts the items on the online auction house at a sizable mark-up.

The real winner? Toys for Tots netted the entire $36,950 for its needy kids this holiday season.

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Another Sarah Palin doll also proved to be a hot commodity on Election Day.

At the 22 metro area Starship adult novelty stores.

Yes, to cash in on the attractive Alaska governor’s new notoriety, a doll in her likeness has been created and marketed for voters eager to spend a little, er, extra quality time with the candidate.

At the Starship store in Conyers on Tuesday, manager Sunday Carter told Buzz the $199 “durable” doll was by far the store’s biggest seller.

“It’s probably because she’s been in the news so much,” Carter theorized. “But to be honest, I don’t ask. I don’t want to know. I just ring them up.”

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zoiks!

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america, politics
Oct-15-2008

living in america: yankee mini-plan renewal

in college, my groomsman william and i dreamed up a character called third world country guy and we said if third world country guy came to visit us in the states and saw the way we lived….while they ate rocks and bugs….he* would kick our @$$. price club would be an example. owning animals as pets instead of as potential food source is another. here is another:

when i was in dc, i had a mini plan to the dreadful bullets to take students to games to….because who wants to be invited to hang out with the pastor at the church? going to an nba game is so much cooler….though you still have to go with the pastor.

this year, i got a mini plan to the stadium trying to get all star and playoff(wah wah)tickets for 2008…..with the season winding down, i expected an offer to re-up for 2009. in dc, i got a letter with a carbon copy and a self addressed stamped envelope. in nyc, i got this……

its like an offering for new multi-million dollar condo. but the price is actually closer to 1.5 billion.

the mailing was printed on heavy stock cardboard….glossy…..shiny and happy….and luxurious….

with fold outs…..

making sure you know exactly where your seats will be in the new stadium……

and just in case you want to upgrade to a suite….which does look like a multi-million dollar condo….which it is except you can’t sleep over. and its closed in the winter.

i got $11 tickets in the bleachers last time….i can’t afford this….but thanks for offering?

pages and pages of amenities and perks to choose from….

how many trees died in the cause to get me to say yes???

concluding with the following salespitch:

the vanity of thinking that if you give up the dough that you too will be part of the magic!

but i found a mockable misstep…..let’s take a closer look at this pitch….

the yankees have committed a fortune to arod and are trying to market him as the future……but you know what arod(listed here with)grandpa, mom, dad and sis have in common….none of them have won a world series.

* of course on 9/11, we discovered that third world country guy had a name.

Posted under living in america